I’ve been offline for a while.
Actually, more like off-life.
Turns out the whole grief thing can really sucker you up when you least expect it. You think, ‘Oh good, I’ve made it through the one-year mark, melted down in the grocery store, been remiss on personal hygiene for more than two consecutive days, purchased elastic-waist-banded pants. I’ve done it all! Lived a full, grief-packed life. Let’s call it a day.’
And then it all cycles back. Like cicadas.
And the noise is too much to bear.
When I first learned about the stages of grief, I thought it was a linear-type program they were pushing. When you’re done with Depression, honey, just hand in your card and we’ll move you right on to Acceptance. Lines form to the left. Please enjoy the ride.
But no! Tricky business, this grief. Each stage keeps randomly popping up, like a Whack-A-Mole. And the truth is, sometimes you have the mallet with you to handle it, and sometimes you don’t.
People often say if it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger (those are the days you wish you had the mallet with you), but to me that’s like saying ‘If I shoot you and you don’t die, but you almost do, and you suffer a crazy-ass amount of pain because of it all, you’ll be such a better person.’
A better approach to all this, I think, is what somebody suggested I do every night before I go to bed. Other than floss. Write down three things I am grateful for. And while I know there is a lot I have to be grateful for, I’ve decided, in the spirit of this blog’s catchy tagline, to come up with one thing that doesn’t suck.
Three seems like too much of a commitment for me right now.
One I can do.
And so now, if you will please indulge my love of all things hedgehog, I give you the first installment of…
“That Doesn’t Suck”
Because baby hedgehogs in tiny nesting baskets DO NOT SUCK.
See??? Tell me you don’t have a smile on your face right now!
I hope it has helped in some small way. Because we all have days when we don’t have our mallets with us, right?